I just burned my hand. It makes me feel slightly relieved. I thought I was getting better, but I was wrong. I'm feeling very lonely. Nobody cares. My former friends were the reason I tried to kill myself the first time. Now without me around, I can see they're really happy, they love each other and they're perfect. I can hear people talking about why I'm being alienated. I can see they understand, "they don't like her, you see, she's just *insert negative adjective*".
I love my friends, I never understand what I did wrong. Never had I tried to hurt them. When I asked one of them why, she said, "oh u kno, just little things you do". So basically it's just me. There's just something wrong with me. I tried making it up to her and everyone else, she just treated me worse. But they're so nice to each other and to everyone else. So it's just me. There's just something wrong with me. Something awful. I'm just not meant to live. This is my destiny. To disappear. To make people happy. I'm hurt. My heart is aching. My eyes are burning for crying constantly. But soon, it'll go away. It will go away. Soon. Thank you for trying to help me, Y and everyone else. You're more a friend to me than my friends have been recently. Thank you. Goodbye.

It's the end of the year, they probably just think you're a bad ass that's skipping. Or maybe you've at some point pushed them all away. When I was battling my serious depression, I didn't talk to anyone for weeks. It was just school, home, sleep. I didn't do anything. No one cared because I didn't care about them. When I reconnected with these people, they told me that they were afraid to contact me because they thought I hated them. I never hated them. I hated myself. People care. They just think you don't.

j, you absolutely must tell someone about this.

You did the right thing by not doing this. Please, please, discuss this with someone, anyone.

Stay Strong. Nothing can stop you from living the life you deserve, and nothing will stop you from being happy.

August 21, 2008 at approximately one o'clock in the morning a friend of mine hung himself in his garage. No note. No apparent reason.
It tore my group up. Even now none of us talk about him, or about the incident. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one that thinks about him. I'm scared though, I'm starting to forget his face. The boldest memories I have are of his still expression and air around him in his casket, and his mother. Oh god, his mother. I can't properly describe to you what she was like. She was no saint, but I've never seen someone so broken before in my life. Anytime things seem dark, the rare times that I feel like throwing in the towel, I think about his mother, sobbing like a madwoman, rocking back and forth in the front row of seats.
The world doesn't stop for you. The only way you can keep things going, to make sure you're remembered, to make sure that people do care about you, is to carry on.